Comfort < Fear < Learning < Growth
Are people getting bored of their comfort zones yet? There’s a lot of talk about it these days and here I am to throw in my piece as well.
I’m going to assume that it’s common knowledge that when we’re in our comfort zone, although familiar and pleasant, the conditions for growth are not ideal. When comfortable, we tend to sit back, relax, and deal with life in the ways we know how. We’re safe and we don’t need to think twice. Life is easy! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being in our comfort zone, but I’d argue that after some time, it’s time to shake things up a bit.
To structure my thoughts, I’ll use this very simple and practical diagram:
As you can see, right beyond our Comfort Zone is a place that I think is also quite familiar — Fear. Treading on unknown territory, we often retreat, make excuses, and tend to run back to safety. I’d say that many people probably oscillate between their Comfort and Fear Zones, opting for familiarity and a sense of control over feelings of discomfort and uncertainty. Who wouldn’t? Being uncomfortable is, well, uncomfortable. It’s icky. It’s unpleasant, and hard to sit with.
Personal example:
English is my first language. I’ve always had a tough time expressing myself in French due to the separation of cultures that exists in Canada and more specifically, here in Montreal. If you know the city, you know how easy it is to get away with speaking only English. I must admit that I’ve played that card for too long.
Sure, I speak French, but I have minimal contact with the francophone community and have never actively integrated myself into this wonderfully rich culture. Immersing myself in a francophone context causes me significant levels of anxiety, so much so, that my tendency is to shut down or flee the scene so I can retreat to safety.
I’ve been wanting for years now to get over this ridiculous fear and stop caring about how others will judge my French (which apparently is really not bad at all) — more importantly, how I judge my own French language skills. For some time, I did a lot of the oscillating I describe above. I played a constant game of tag with testing the waters by starting a conversation in French, but then midway, running back to English because of how vulnerable I felt. Physically, my body would tense up and it became difficult to manage those feelings of anxiety while trying to function.
Recently, I decided that it’s time to toughen up. In this area of my life, I’ve grown tired of the Comfort Zone and know that I will have to sit through much discomfort in order for me to pass the threshold from Fear to the more open Learning Zone.
With this goal in mind, I’ve volunteered myself for the Ruelle Verte (Green Alley) committee where I live. The neighbourhood is mostly francophone and the rest of the committee is most definitely francophone. I’ve been dreading our first meeting for weeks ever since the invite was sent out and yesterday, there I was on the Zoom call, terrified on the inside, but trying my best to keep it together. I participated minimally, but I did my best. The point is, I was there, sitting through the discomfort so I can slowly make my way from Fear to Learning. I can still feel the knots in my stomach just thinking about it, but what I want is to face this challenge head on because I know this will help me expand my possibilities as I move forward.
In order to reach the Learning Zone, there must be a conscious desire and choice to want to make it there. After all, leaving safety to wade through the fear and often unconscious blocks takes effort and determination. All a person has to do is to decide that they’re ready to welcome discomfort in order to reach more open territory, where learning can take place.
In this zone, we are ready to take on the challenges with which we are confronted. We resign ourselves to doing the work so we can take control of a particular area of our lives and infuse it with more purpose and meaning. We recognize that there are opportunities out there to be ceased and we choose to accept the challenge and keep moving. The Learning Zone is the golden land of Opportunity.
All of that hard work then leads us to what the model calls the Growth Zone. It’s the place beyond the golden land of Opportunity where dreams are made. This is the peak, this is where our top accomplishments in life are achieved: putting together that solo exhibit, setting up that small business, building stronger connections with neighbours…
The Growth Zone is the place where everyone wishes they could be but more often than not, fail to make it. Why?
From what I’ve gathered, it’s from ignorance and/or fear. When I say ignorance, I don’t mean it in a demeaning way, what I refer to is the innocent lack of realization. We don’t choose to be ignorant. If we did, I’d call that irresponsibility instead, delinquent. But when we don’t know any better, this keeps us at a place that is comfortable and familiar. What needs to be roused is a sense of curiosity and exploration.
When dealing with fear, well, although real, there must come a time where we decide that we’ve had enough of it. We do all that we can, seek all the help and support that we need to help us move through it because it is definitely real, as it plagues our thoughts and invades our body. Neither of these barriers to Learning and Growth are permanent though, unless we decide that they are.
We all have the potential to make it to the Growth Zone. All it takes is a stirring, a small spark for us to have the courage to step into unfamiliar territory and allow ourselves the chance to see what we’re made of.
