Individualism: It Ain’t All It’s Cracked Out to Be
𝐈𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐦: 𝐈𝐭 𝐀𝐢𝐧’𝐭 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐁𝐞
𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘍𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘒𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘴’ 𝘑𝘶𝘯𝘦 7, 2021 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵.
One of the down sides of individualism is that we are pushed to believe that alone, we can do it all and, on top of that, we can do it better. While independence and self-sufficiency are great qualities to have, I do believe there’s a danger in such bold determination.
I’ve spent years trying to find success. I wanted a career that made me feel important, I wanted to feel accomplished, I wanted others to recognize my name. Now the reason I believe I’ve yet to achieve any of these things is because I’ve been failing to approach it in the right way.
Individualism, while it encourages us to follow our dreams and do what we need to do to get there in spite of the desires of those around us, discounts the fundamental importance of the collective as a support system.
Over the years, I’ve come to realize that there’s this deep-rooted desire within me to accomplish everything on my own. There’s this voice inside of me that says, “I can and will get this done. Once I do, I’ll finally be able to prove how great I really am.”
This is Ego.
This voice, as I’ve mentioned before, leads me to self-isolate. It takes effort for me to ask for help and from past experiences, it’s clear that not reaching out for support has led me into many brick walls. Instead of finding a way to climb over the wall, I look for a fresh start. I start from zero all over again, until things begin to eventually get more challenging, and oh! More bricks.
We’ve all heard the African proverb, “If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together”. For the most part, we’ve been subject to the acceleration of technology and the everyday fast-paced life of capitalism, productivity, and $$$ making. The message is that we have no time to waste, that fast is the way things should be, and so yes, many of us fall into this trap of going at it alone (if you work with a group or team and have a tendency to take over the project, then this is the equivalent of going at it alone). Somewhere down the road, however, there’s a beautiful brick wall waiting. It’s inevitable. That’s life.
When we insist on going at it alone, when we’re left in a daze by the impact of crashing into a dead end, there are usually not so many people around to help anymore. At least not genuinely.
Isn’t it so much more pleasant to get on the other side of a brick wall with the support of others whom we trust and whose strengths and skills compliment our own? Not to mention that it makes the whole ordeal that much more bearable. When we share the responsibility and the work, knowing that there’s a collective effort to help each other out — to me, this sounds like a much better situation to be in.
I will always admit that I’m still learning. I can mentally understand the benefits of working together vs. working alone, yet, I find myself every now and again back on my high horse, thinking, “I don’t need anybody”, “I’ll get more done on my own”. I know from experience though that I’m wrong. The reason why success hasn’t come into my experience just yet is probably because I’ve been looking in the wrong places.
It’s about redefining what success means to me.
I no longer think it’s about that shiny career or title that my individualistic self has wished for so badly. My dream now is to work with and alongside others. I want to get over this Ego-driven desire to stand out and be somebody; instead, I want to focus my energy on working through my resistance to reaching out to people who share similar interests and values.
In this moment, reaching out to others more readily is what defines success for me. I suppose it’s striking a fine balance between individualism and collectivism. I’m me, I’m grand, and unique, but so are many of the people around me!
We’ve been conditioned to want to win and be at the top, but I think many of us have forgotten what it actually takes to get there honourably and sustainably. Sure, it’s possible to get to the top faster alone, but let’s face it, it’s exhausting and it’s lonely.
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