Journeying With Cacao
+This is a post from the first edition of my blog entitled You Are Here+
Over the last year, I’ve had several opportunities to experience the medicine of the heart-opening cacao plant (the bean more specifically). Recognized by the Mayans as the “Food of the Gods”, cacao is known to have healing properties allowing the person to re-connect with their innermost self. This post is a brief glimpse into my latest experience journeying with the sacred plant:
The lights are dim, the ambience is warm, safe. Lying on my back, my eyes covered, the sounds of the drum and meditative music call for me to journey inward. At first, there’s only an artificial darkness. With my mind still present in the room, my destination isn’t very clear. Where am I going? What should I be seeing? What should I be feeling? I rely on the physical world to provide the answers.
I begin to question whether the path I’m on is the “right” one – is this the right tunnel? Does this door lead to the right place? There’s still only darkness where I hope for vivid answers. My thoughts cloud my vision. What I feel are the obvious sensations, the mundane: the scarf that covers my eyes, the folded blanket under my head, the bolster under my knees.
“Concentrate”, I tell myself, trying my best to get where I need to be.
It takes some time for old habits to fade, but soon enough, my ability to let go slowly carries me away. Tonight, I don’t see much, but I feel.
I feel what it’s like to be connected as one whole: body, mind, and soul. The sound of the music, the vibrations, the ebb and flow of energy moving in and around me… there is no longer a separation between my physical self and the space I inhabit. If you know this feeling, you know that it’s the ultimate state of bliss – perfect as is.
My senses open to the universe and I understand that this is the only way; that all the answers that I have sought out since I can remember have been with me all along; that it’s just been a matter of letting go of all the ideas of how things should be in order to reach this ultimate state of perfection.
Lately, in the waking world, I’ve realized how much I depend on the validation of others in order to believe in myself. I can only feel smart if I’m given the grade, I can only feel confident if I’m given the attention, I can only feel capable if I’m given the opportunity. How long have other people been calling the shots and making these decisions for me?
With this new understanding, my work is to learn how to fully embody my gifts and talents. Although much easier said than done, when I’m able to allow the ebb and flow of the natural order of things to return, just as the sacred plant has shown me, I know that even in the waking world, I’ll get where I need to be.
I have a lot of work ahead of me, so please feel free to share your own personal stories about overcoming personal obstacles and stepping into the real, originally divine version of yourself!
** Oh, and if ever you’re in Montreal and are interested in attending a cacao ceremony, I would recommend Mystic Portals! Be at peace knowing that you’ll be in good hands :).
