Minding My Self-Talk
The other day, as I stepped through the door into my home, I heard a voice inside my head say, “You won’t be able to do this new job. It’ll require you to call people on the phone often and you hate calling people. Just forget it”.
Having been presented with a new job prospect recently, I’d been feeling unprepared for such an unexpected opportunity. I didn’t ask the voice for its opinion though, it just interjected itself, expressing discontent and doubt.
The way in which the voices in our head narrate and decide how we experience whatever it is we are going through is referred to as our self-talk. It can make all the difference in the world when our self-talk is gentle and kind vs. when it’s judgmental and unforgiving.
For a split second, I allowed the negative voice in my head to get to me. My heart sank. As I kicked off my sandals and threw my keys onto the entrance table, I was quick to come to my own defence and immediately shut that first voice down, “Ignore her, she just wants to make you miserable. Don’t listen!”
I was glad that I could catch myself in this self-sabotaging act. For a moment, I’d actually believed these words. What if I hadn’t had the reflex to defend myself? Many moons ago, I would’ve continued entertaining these negative beliefs, talking myself out of ever leaving my comfort zone. It’s incredible to observe how our negative self-talk can be so pernicious if we aren’t paying attention.
How do we speak to ourselves? How do we perceive and describe our day-to-day?? Do we engage in a narrative that is constantly focused on the negative, the deficiencies, the could’ve/should’ves, or is our story one of contentment, acceptance, and optimism??
Here is where our self-talk hygiene becomes so important. By consciously making the effort to stop and check in with ourselves and our inner voice — how it’s telling the story, we heighten our awareness of our experiences. We must then ask ourselves whether the experiences we are living are the ones we truly want to be living??
Standing in a place of privilege, where I have the blessing of having all of my basic needs met, I have learned that I am the creator of my own reality.
If I continued to tell myself that I was awkward and incapable, well, I’d continue to be awkward and incapable. If I carried on with the idea that I didn’t belong, I’d continue to feel like an outsider. If I chose to perpetuate the narrative that drudgery and never ending problems were a part of my story, then exhaustion, boredom, and negativity would continue to pervade my everyday life.
The way we speak to ourselves and tell our own story ultimately plays an essential role in moving us along to where we wish to be. No, it’s not magic and there can often be overarching systematic issues that oppress and block us, but if we can first start by reclaiming our inner voice, our own stories, we can become a force to be reckoned with.
By minding my self-talk, I remember what I am capable of and stay focused on my path.
